May 25, 2018

WEP Aug 2018 Challenge

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w.c. 847

Listen up everyone. Let me tell you a story about a friend of mine that died and what happened between him and this snake, (One Dark and Stormy Night).

John Thorson was driving back home from a party at his brother’s house where the liquor flowed like the rain that had just been hitting old Thorson's windshield.

Anyway, somewhere down around Possum Holler John's wife asked him, “Did you see that big old snake laying in the road just back yonder?”

It seems my friend didn't so he stopped and started walking back up the road with a golf club and flashlight in his hands.

Well sure fire if Thorson's wife wasn’t right and there all curled up in the middle of the road was a twelve foot timber back rattlesnake.

The snakes head was lying up on top of his rain soaked body and those two snake eyes seemed to be drilling a hole into John's brain.

Will it was either the snake eyes or all those jelly jar drinking glass full of his brothers Mike Thorson’s 190 Proof corn liquor he had just brewed up for their other brothers birthday party. Yep that was one hell of a party. There was dancing and fiddling and some of the best Bar-B-Cue I’d suck my teeth into in a long time. Mary Henderson was looking sweeter than a tree frog on a moonlit night. You know the frogs you used for catfishing down in the Hollers.


Heck there I went and all most got off the story. Ok back to it. I'll try and not wander off too much.

Thorson looked at them snake eyes all glowing in the moonlight like two tiny lumps of burning coal. Yes the moon had just peeked out from behind them there storm clouds.

John's wife said, “That is when the strangest thing happened.”

There her old man stood over the top of that snake, feet apart, shoulders back, and head down.

In the moonlight she saw him start back on what was probably the best back swing he had ever done. In seconds with both hands locked on that golf club and his eyes glued to that there Timber backs head, he swung.

His wife said, “Officer it happened so quick from that time on I didn't even have time to blink.”

That old snake must have watched them playing golf because just as that club got to his head he pulled it down inside his corals.

I know by now you're all guessing what happened. You’re all thinking that old snake popped his head out and sunk its three inch fangs into John's leg.

You-all would have been right but life just doesn’t work that way.

Okay, okay you-all are asking if that didn’t happen, then what did.


I can tell you this. You didn't guessed any part of what happened next. Okay I'll get back to the story and tell you. John Thorson missed. From the way his wife told it to me, “He never had a chance”.


Heck, John being the golfer he was, he kept right on swinging. With a follow through the likes no one in the valley has ever seen him do.

There the two of them stood. He in that stand you see on top of them cheap trophies they give the kids out at the local club. There that rattlesnake was, still peeking up from inside his corals.

You’re asking yourself right about now, if the snake didn't bite him, where is this all going? 


Heck give me some time to catch my breath and I’ll tell you. 

Okay, where was I. Oh that’s right.

Anyway John’s wife was standing there looking at them two fools. The snake and her old man in the middle of a highway still looking at each other, when the biggest bolt of lightning she had ever seen hit the end of John’s golf club.

That bolt of lightning was so big it melted the asphalt around John and that snake for ten feet coving them both from head to toe with asphalt.


Okay I know some of you all are asking, how come the wife was not hit by the lighting also? Remember John had to walk back up the road to get to the snake. The wife told me she didn't want to get that close to any old snake and she stayed by the car, about a good city block away.


When I drove by the next morning to see for myself the highway crew was still trying to chip the two of them out of the asphalt.


The wife said she had a change of heart. She was going to bury those two fools together, but now she thinks she'll just stand them up by his old 54 Ford truck that was still up on concrete blocks out there in the front yard as a memorial.

I need to get this written and posted before the widow Mrs. Thorson has another change of heart and stops inviting me over for supper every night.




2 comments:

Snaggle Tooth said...

Now that's a bizarre outcome!

Why do some guys always have to try to kill the snake?

desk49 said...

SnaggleTooth:
That is one of those questions I don't think anyone knows the answers to.