You ask me to read your poem and give you advise for that gem. If I might say before I start, write your poem from your heart. Tell the world how you feel, not what they think is real. Don't let people change your mine how you think your poem should rime. Even if they don't think it's right, only you have to sleep with it tonight. People will tell you, my friend, how they would make it end. Just smile and say, that's fine, but please do not change your mine. So if your poem speaks to your soul, it is worth your weight in Gold.