December 14, 2016

Utopian Dream: right

  A Utopian Dream I’m asked to write about
  Some perfect world I have no doubt
  A sun that shines softly every day
  There is never work only joyful play
  Love is forever, true and never dies
  To their fellow man, no one lies
  The birds sing the squirrels run free
  My God that place is not for me

  I try and write about the truth my eyes see
  Of the trials God gives us to help us be free
  Is there really a place for this Utopian Dream
  Where life is so good, there’s no bad it seems
  One’s mood won’t ever go up or down
  Where there is only smiles and never a frown
  How do you know it’s right if nothing goes wrong
  How can one sing, if just one doesn’t hum along

  Give me a break on this Utopian Dream 
  Every now and then I need to hear a scream
  I need to know my world has fallen, into a loop
  It’s in a bit of a pickle, face deep in the soup
  So give me a dream that’s as nice as can be
  But put in a demon that’ll pop out at me
  Nothing is that sweet all the blessed time
  All worlds are full of poisons vines

  Here is to show you my writings won’t stray
  This Utopian Dream post at your feet I lay

December 6, 2016

Wake up! Please wake up

Am I dreaming, to hell I’ll go
How long it’s been, I do not know
Flames burning away my flesh
Demons not letting my screams rest
The smoke is hot with embers aglow
Rivers of fire, around my body flow
Pain so great only dusty tears I cry
Is this how hell will be when I die
I wish I’d wake from this dream
My ears bursting from other’s screams
Deep down in my heart I moan
For this is now, forever my home
It seems this dream is way too real
On Potters Hill my coffin was sealed
No one came to say goodbye to me
As my body rots there for eternity

October 20, 2016

Death of a Blogger:

We’ve lost another
As in gone
Passed on
Never to return? 
Someday me too. 
So shall you
Those over there
And even him. 
Sooner for some
Later for others. 
We will cry for
The ones we know
And some we didn’t
Yet tomorrow
We’ll go on as always
Most we’ll forget
Others maybe not
Until we’re gone
And forgotten forever

I sat staring at the screen.  A thousand words… why do I keep taking on these challenges?  All my family and friends at the coffee shop tell me I’m not a writer.  My wife hates my stories and all she does is yell at me to get a job— a real man’s job.
God, I’d love to have them meet my blogging friends.  They’re always telling me how good I am.  They read what I put my heart and soul into and they tell me the truth.  Hell, I have to stop dwelling on this.  I have a thousand words to get out before October the 16th.

Anna is coming over to help with my spelling.  If not for her and what was his name?  Harven! Hayven! No, Hayden/ Yes, that was his name.  Now, he could write.  Every time he entered one of these writing challenges you could put money on him winning.  We heard he died.  Well, we think that.  He just stop showing up.

I wish Anna would get here.  She is a great spell checker.  She said she had to stop by and get something that would really help around here.  The wife meet her in a blog site and they’ve become great friends.  That is what I like about blogging.  Hell, they even have their own blog site where they type back and forth.  One would think it’s more like a wife support group.  I told Margret blogging would help her get through the hard times.

What dear?  Yes, I’m on the internet looking for a job I’m just taking a break.  Yes, I know I’ve been out of work for a year.  How could I forget?  You remind me fifty times a day.  I’m reading a blog right now it’s Saturday night for God’s sake.  I can’t go for any interviews till Monday anyway.  Tell me when Anna gets here.  I really need her to look over this story.

Margret looks at Anna.  “I don’t know how much more I can take.  We’re going to lose the house and everything.  He spends all his time blogging.  I’m willing to try anything to get him to help out around here or to do something to help pay the bills.”

Anna smiles.  “Margret, this has worked for me, Joanne, Shelly, Dora, and it will work for you, too.  Some husbands just need a little push now and then to get them to where they belong.  Are all those empty beer bottles his?”

“Yes, and that is another thing he seems to be drinking more and more these days.”

“Help me make Ellis a sandwich and hand me another beer.”

“Anna, could you check on Jeff when you go up?  He was a bit restless early tonight.”

“I’d love to.  He is such a darling boy.  We should have a play day for the kids soon.  Mike and Jeff get along so good.  It’s like they have been the best buds all their life.”

Margret smiled.  “I don’t know what I would have done without you and the girls.”

“That’s why we’re here.  Now hand me that sandwich and let me get upstairs to read over his story.”

I was trying to add a few more words when I heard a knock on the door and like to have jumped out of my skin.  I miss the cracking of the floorboards as people walked up and down the hallway.  Why did I let her talk me into putting in that carpet?  “Who is it?”  I asked.

Anna opened the door.  “I brought you a sandwich and a beer.”

I looked up.  “Thanks.”  I need one.  This story is driving me up the wall.  I have more red lines than spell check has words.  That’s not counting the ones spell check didn’t catch.

Anna sat down at the computer.  “Let me have a look and see what I can do.”

About the same time I finished my beer, Anna looked around at me.

“I’m thinking you have had way too many beers,” she said.  “You’ve done better.  You seem to be floating around between thoughts and jumping back and forth on the story line.  Why don’t you go down and get Margret to make me a sandwich and I should have the last two pages read before you get back.”

I went to the top of the staircase and yelled down for Margret to bring me up another sandwich.  Then I was falling forward.  No, I didn’t fall—I felt a hand on my back.  I laid at the foot of the stairs in great pain.  God, I’m still alive, I thought, but I can’t move.

Margret rushed out from the kitchen and stood there looking down at me.

“Call 911,” I whispered.  “I’m hurt bad.”

“Anna! He’s still alive!” Margret screamed.

Anna walked down the stairs, knelt down beside me, running her fingers through the hair on the back of my head then grabbed my beard, quickly twisting my head backward.  The bones in my neck cracked like green limbs in a campfire.

Margret went to the front door and got some old roller-skates Anna left there when she arrived and put one at the top and the other at the bottom of the stairs.  She picked up the phone and started to call 911.  She stopped.  “Wait! Anna, what is your last name?  I’ll need it for the police report when I tell them you were standing next to me in the kitchen when he fell.”

            “I’m Anna Hayden—the late Eddy Hayden’s widow.  I think Ellis might have known him.”

October 8, 2016


Another night another try
Another who is who
And yet will we find
What we know we knew

Life hands us little gifts
That we just pass by
If we knew what they were
Would our hearts not cry

Tomorrow is not today
Tho we live as it's so
There’s so much we missed
And love we'll never know

Look not back at this time
For it has passed us by
Only today can make tomorrow
And stop the tears we cry

Moms Letter:

Write not about what you’ve done
Write not about the battles you won
Write not about the praise you seek
Write not if you’re cowardly or meek

Write about your heart full of love
Write about his grace from above
Write about the children at play
Write about how often you pray

Write to someone you desire
Write to whose loves afire
Write to our God who’s on high
Write to me son, before you die

August 8, 2016

Hay Doc:

What would you hear, Doc
If words came from me
If the end of this rope
Wasn’t tied to this tree

You say you trained
In the ways of the insane
You can tell us what’s
Going through our brains

We fought in your wars
For our country we’d die
Why treat us like children?
Why to us, do you lie

You tell us if we listen
We’ll be lead to the light
Taken from this darkness
To regain our clear sight

If we do what you tell us
A new person we’ll be
There’s no way we’d hang
Ourselves from this tree

Really you don’t know
You’re just playing around
The things you tell us
Won’t cut one of us down

So lie to yourself Doc about
All the blood on your hands
Then go report to your boss
You’ve done all you can

August 2, 2016

Judge and Thy-shall be:

They run us out from within and
Profess to have a Christian sight
All the other groups are wrong
And only they do things right

They tell us to go away and
Take the demons we hide within
We tried to tell them their wrong
But it's a fight we couldn’t win

When we stand before those Gates
And God cast them from his view
They’ll scream from below
“Everything we did, we did for you”

On bended knee they’ll beg
Their cries will never stop
As he turns his back on them
They’ll hear “I said Judge Not”

July 30, 2016

Who Are You:

As a man no purse I’ll carry
No lipstick I’ll don
You’ll never have to guess
What side I sleep on

Yet with billfolds, men’s watches
And blue jeans that zip right
Will you be one of the guys
Or someday be a good wife

You walk around with your hair
Cut shorter than mine
And beat me at arm wrestling
Most of the time

If I just ask you right out
I’m a sexist to you
But if we marry will I get
A wife, or maybe two

July 27, 2016

Spinning, Spinning:

This world goes on spinning, spinning
Friends are made and together cling
Then one day they’ll drift apart
It’s not bad, that life keeps moving
For few souls will forever bond
Tho memories linger in our minds
We knew someday it’d come
Still we hoped this wouldn’t happen
But we must face what has to be
For this pain won’t linger long
This world goes on spinning, spinning
All we can do is hope to hold on

July 26, 2016

Preach On:

You think you’ll walk
On streets of gold
And in the fiery pit
I will walk below

No more will you
Feel the pain
But the truth is in hell
Your blood will rain

Those Demons teeth at
Your flesh will rip
And only screams will
Come from your lips

Fingers you pointed at us
The demons will devour
And you’ll burn forever
In that raging fire

Preach on that soapbox
With all your might
But your soul is still
As black as night

Tell me not how
To save my soul
For you lost yours
A long time ago

Go tell everyone
About you I have lied
Yet you know on
Your back a demon rides

Last Prayer

Death holds me in its grip
And will never let me go
Tho I walk with this death
It seems I've not walked slow
I ask you, is this the true
And why, must it be so
All that I have to give
Few will ever know
Give me the time I need
So people I can show
The words I wrote to them
Will not, burn with me below

July 24, 2016


Flame or fame
Which will you seek
Hell on this earth
Or after you sleep
Your soul screams
For great power
Then it’ll scream
In that pit of fire
Fame or flame
Chose tonight
Then tell yourself
You’ve chosen right
Go walk this Earth
And feel no woes
Someday you will hear
For whom that bell tolls
To your death bed
You should cling
No matter your choice
Your soul, will scream

I Have No Wisdom

I have no wisdom to write
Upon this page for you
No light to shine within so
You can see my inner soul

Yet you think what you read
Gives you insight about me
So you can tell me how
I should live my meager life

Why do you try and tell me
How to march to my drum
Throw no rocks for your windows
Have long been broken

Ask me not to shine
My light into your soul
For this light of mine
Burned out long ago

They'll Know

Here I sit pen in hand
To write what’s in my head
On this page the words I’ve put
Are written in blood now brown

What I write you will read
You’ll tell me, we think alike
But you’ll say, what I wrote
Are dreams of things unreal

You say my words spoke to you
And someday you’d like to write
Truly you, know not what torture is
For if I could, I’d stop this night

Can’t you hear those demons scream
“Write what you want about us there
Those mortals will never believe
What waits for them down below

Yet after death they’ll understand
What you wrote was subline
As they burn to ashes they’ll know
What is running through your mind”

July 20, 2016

Is All Lost:

As I write upon this page
What is running through my head
I wonder will anyone understand
Will these words be lost or read

Like the sand on an oceans shore
That just washes out with the tied
Are my words here like that sand
Will man and God watch them die

Maybe someday, some poor soul
Will trip upon those grains of sand
If they read them with their heart
They will cry for their fellow man

What was long ago, is true today
To keep my soul from the pit I dread
I try to write and hope you’ll read
what is running through my head

July 18, 2016

Serve not Him:

Those that walk upon this earth
Who serve their God below
Think they will someday rule
Yet in truth they’ll burn slow

On this earth they walk with pride
They know not what they’ll find
In that fiery pit full of woe
They’ll be consumed over time

Fire will pour from their mouths
Their skin will smoke for evermore
Bones will turn to ashes white
Then they’ll be again restored

Tho the fire burns white hot
From it no light will they see
Both the outside and from within
Will fry in that lava sea

Screams uttered from their lips
Will blend in with those below
None of us will cry for them
Our tears have dried up long ago

July 16, 2016


As we walk in the light
Our souls cling to us like shadows
Always hiding from the sun
Like our shadows, they run free
In the dark of night where we
Think neither God nor man can see
What hides deep within our souls
Telling ourselves tomorrow we’ll
Again be purified by the light
Yet we hide our shadow behind us
So no light can touch it and others
Cannot see what lies within
As we creep into those crevices
Our blacked souls will
someday overpower us forever

July 8, 2016

The Last Laugh

You thought I was really dead
Because you made me put
A bullet through my head

You’re telling, in hell I now roam
And all that smoke and flame
Will forever be my home

Sweetheart do not whine
For I’ve been told by them
You’ll be here in due time

Next to me, you will stroll
As I get to watch demons
Ripping apart your soul

Cry Not:

Cry not for me
For no love did you show
No comforting words
Did I ever know

For years you told me
To suck it up, be a man
I don’t have time
To hold, your hand

Yet when it’s for you
I’m to do my job
Watch what I say
Don’t act a slob

Now that I’m dead
I finally understand
I never could have been
Your perfect man

June 23, 2016

Pass By

Sitting here watching
Others rushing round
I care not what they’re doing
Or what they think they found

Someday I might wonder
Where they all came from
But why should I care
Doing nothing is more fun

Why is death clinging
At me instead of you
I beg I’m not ready
I have much more to do

Death smiles down at me
Don’t let those eyes cry
Because you just sit there
And let life pass you by

June 5, 2016

Last Thoughts:

Pain excruciating pain
Screams exploding in my head
Voices in the dark whispering
Laughter echoing to and fro
Icy hands touching me,
Where am I, who am I,
Is anyone there, none reply
This darkness is choking me
The pain gone, screaming silenced
Whispers just white noise far away
Nothingness is engulfing me
God is this my eternity

May 27, 2016

Battered Soul

The grief within
No one can see
This will to live
Is draining out of me

Yet the truth
No one knows
For none can see
This battered soul

They say this life
Has plenty to give
So why, within it,
I see no reason to live

Others scream out
Just listen to me
I’m never wrong
You’re sure to see

The pain is strong
I know it’s near
But is it life
Or death I fear